A place for the musings of the mind about life, Christ, and the pursuit of He who gives all good things
I am home, tropical depression Fay and all. I have no internet at the house so bear with me. I have lots to say and pictures to share, but for the time being I am just quietly absorbing what I saw and learned, and praying the fix it soon. Should be Friday.
Thanks for praying for me and my trip. I was dizzy quite a bit, but I worked through it.
So, All is well here. Hot, humid, but no worse the Houston at it’s hottest. I have an eye infection. I was amazed that I can buy antibiotics over the counter here, as well as a whole list of things.
I am amazed at the strength and hospitality of these people, even when they are dirt poor and dying from preventable diseases. I went to a project today that built itself near a dump so it could minister to the children and families making a living ( i use that term lightly) recycling what they find. I turned into a blubbery piece of jello after hearing that.
More to come, if the internet holds. But now, I sleep.
Hey team,
I am off to the Dominican Republic this week with Compassion on “official business” The good news in that is when you work for a ministry like mine “official business” means playing with kids.
You can keep track of me on the blog below for the week, and I will try to drop in here ( I should have some internet access)
Take care!
“To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul’s paradox of love,scorned indeed by the too easily satisfied religionist, but justified in happy experience by the children of the burning heart”
Below is an E-mail I sent this morning to friends and family. If I did not have your address, consider this the next best thing. I appreciate my readers and friends and aquaintances that I have made via this blog. I include you in my thoughts and prayers often.
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Good Morning friends, family and faithful prayer warriors,
As many of you may know, or now are finding out, I have been battling a rare brain disorder for the last 18 months or so called an Arnold Chiari Malformation. I have apparently had it since birth, but it does not affect you until your adult life. The last 6 months of my life have been affected by it severely. I have had headaches, dizziness, black out episodes, and more. (I will spare the details.) Amy and I went for a consultation with a Neurosurgeon in Denver yesterday and he advised that now is the time for me to have surgery. He is the best in the country at battling this disease and Amy and I have agreed that we need to take this course of action now and not wait any longer. We have set a surgery date of October 9th, 2008.
We are asking that you, our friends and family pray with us and for us over the next few months. Specifically pray for:
1) Our move to be completed very soon. We moved most of our stuff into the new apartment over the weekend and we are very happy there. We need a few more things and will be taking care of it in the near future.
2) Pray for Amy. She has been off of work for a while and will not be going back until next month at the earliest due to her chronic medical concerns. Stress aggravates it and this has been a stressful and challenging time for the both of us, as well as for Jacob.
3) Finances. I do not have a very robust medical leave with my employer. What I have has been used for Doctors appointments, emergency leaves for ill family and so forth. I am going to be off of work for at least 4 weeks, possibly 6. Pray that God will show us where to budget and that he will bless what we have been given.
4) Pray that God be glorified. I know that he will despite any condition of belief or unbelief in my heart. God has been teaching Amy and I many things while we are in the valley, and we both are very optimistic that we are climbing the mountain and soon will be at the top of the hill again.
Amy and I love sharing with you and hearing what God is doing in your life. Please E-mail us, call us, or stop by and say hi sometime.
So, for the month of July the #1 search that brought people to my website was… (drumroll please)
FART SNIFFING.
I try to provide good content, sometimes it is rants and raves, but ultimately 74 people out there viewed my website looking for fart sniffing. Why do I try so hard?
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism
or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
As you know, I work in a ministry. A very successful and God centered ministry that is being blessed more and more each day. I work in the contact center with people and encourage them to give to support the ministry and educate them on what our ministry is. Something is bothering me as of late though. It is not in just our ministry, it is rather endemic to the non profit evangelical world right now, and I am getting fed up with it.
My employer over this last year has capitulated and started offering you something in return for your giving to the ministry. Recently we offered to give you a NIV Bible if you gave to a certain project we had going, before that it was getting a photo book if you shared our ministry with a friend and so on. What is wrong with this picture? God did not tell us to give in order to get, he tells us to give and not let our left hand not know what our right hand is doing. He tells us to not do deeds in order to get stuff in return, rather to do it to God and his glory.
I know, this is a bit of a rant, but where have we gone wrong in this scenario? I am getting a little upset at the way the church is co-opting the ways of the world and emulating the world. I had a sponsor so upset with me that she had not received her free gift that she was ready to stop supporting our ministry, she has been supporting us over 10 years. I wanted to tell her that we did not need her to sponsor with us if the free stuff is all it is about, but I need a job, and I love the people I work with dearly.
I hope that I am not a selfish Christian, I hope that I do not fall into the trap of a consumer centered Jesus. Jesus the consumer is not the Jesus I want to follow. I want to follow the Jesus that taught love, taught how to give it all away and be happy, taught that when we put others before our consumer centered selves and our selfish desires we will find peace. I want that peace, I want God to say to me “well done” when I reach the gates of heaven.
Enjoy this short Muppets clip, consider it my free gift to you for reading my blog!
I have been having problems with my cell phone recently, and it has made me painfully aware of something, I am WAY to hooked to technology and it has infiltrated my soul to the point I feel very insecure without it. So, here is my list of things to do to pull the roots of technological overload out of your soul and start getting healthy.
1) Go to the store without your cell phone. I know, it is hard, but you can do it. It is especially hard for those of us with the Blackberry that we put our shopping list on. Do yourself a favor, get a pen, a piece of paper, and write the darn list out.
2) Drive home without listening to music, even Christian music. Last I knew my stereo in my car had an off switch, I just have to remember that once in awhile I can use it.
3) Spend 30 minutes a day in concentrated and focused effort to read. Do not read blogs, do not read light novels that waste your time. Read to stretch your mind, and those of you with the Kendall from Amazon or something like it, put them away.
4) Put the lap top away. Put an out of office reply on your e-mail so people know you mean business, turn it off, leave it with a friend if you must. Believe me, your family will love the look of your face without the gentle glow from the laptop illuminating your every wrinkle and dimple.
5) Eat dinner at the table. No music, just conversation. you will be amazed what you might hear from your spouse, or your child.
6) Kill the television. I find myself wanting it on, even when reading for the background noise. It stinks. I must work hard to tell my soul to be quiet within me. But when I do, boy does God get to talking sometimes.
7) Spend one weekend a quarter in the mountains. Go to a retreat location, someplace that you can get quiet and away from technology. Pray, read the bible, fast, and listen.
Avoid going to a small group meeting that is at a restaurant or coffee shop that is busy and overwhelming. Meet in individual houses, or at a park. Someplace that you can focus on the things you are there for and nothing else.
I am sure there are many more, please post what you do to get away. I just have found myself so overwhelmed, and I did not even know it, with technology. I need to put more then a few of these into regular practice myself.
So, I went to the Doctor today. We have good news, and bad. Good first. I do not have cancer. I also do not have hemachromatosis which was what they thought. I was hoping for that, because then my enemy has a name and I know how to treat it. All I would have to do is give blood regularly to keep the iron levels low. So much for that. The bad news is, no one knows what the problem is. So more blood work, more waiting, more wondering if we will find what is going on and how to fix it.
I am moving in two weeks. That is stressful, add my health, add that Amy is not feeling so well (she is in a definite flair up) and we are just hanging in there. We are surviving, not thriving. I look forward to thriving again some day, but today we are surviving.
I am looking forward to going to the Dominican Republic later in August with Compassion. I always get so much energy working with children, seeing what God is doing with His children, and seeing how Compassion can change the course of a Child’s life. I am so humbled.
Today I am humbled, and grateful, and a little scared. Scared of the unknown, but hopeful that my doctors are good, and that God has a plan. I just have to be patient, and have more courage.
I am sharing with 300 of my fellow employees in a few weeks about courage. I am investigating how to get Audio up on my website and I will post it here for anyone interested if I can. It is quazi-autobiographical in nature, and a good reminder to myself.
Sorry posting is light. I have some things in my brain but they need forming, and until I move I would not expect much to come.
~Selah~
I am still thinking more about courage lately. I am going to be sharing about it at Compassion in August and here is what I have come up with. I am still living it. I still have no test results on the liver but will update this blog when I do. Sorry things have been a little silent. Please keep praying for me and my family. We are in a time of fluctuation and courage is definitely required.
Courage requires:
1) Humility
When God called Noah to build an ark, he needed to be humble so that he could understand what the Lord was saying, and to courageously follow him when the world was looking at him and saying “there is no rain here, it is not going to flood, how are you going to float your boat? When Noah’s friends came to see the boat and they asked “where is your rudder dummy?”
2) Patience
When David was a shepherd boy and in the fields and anointed to be king he was probably thinking “yes, I am ready God, take me.” But God had other plans, many years of plans for him before he could take the throne. He was indeed a courageous man, and a man after God’s own heart, but he had to live in the wilderness for awhile to figure that out fully.
When Noah was living in the land and farming and doing those things that were pleasing and appropriate for taking care of his family and God said “build an ark” I am sure glad he obeyed, but the ark did not get built over night. Nor did he stay in the ark just 40 days, it was more like a year.
3) Sacrifice
In order to have the courage to answer God and follow his chosen path we must be willing to sacrifice for it. Sometimes we have to sacrifice a lot. David sacrificed the comforts that were afforded him in his fathers house in order to follow God. Gideon sacrificed his life (hiding from those who had taken his land captive) in order to follow the calling God gave him. In return David was called “a man after God’s own heart” and Gideon was offered the throne of Israel after he routed the enemies by the thousands.
Where are you being called to have courage? In what circumstance do you find yourself that you feel God is not in control or that you feel God is not being glorified?
Has God placed a call on your life and you can see it, but are yet to attain it? God is in control, be patient.
David knew his calling, but he waited on the Lord. In that time he was shield bearer to the King. He was in the courts when Solomon was planning warfare, engaging in diplomacy, and doing all things kingly. He had to learn how to be King before he became king. (here I will share some personal reflection on waiting upon the lord as long as time allows)
What dream has God placed on your heart? Is it to build a ministry, to start a business, to support 50 Compassion Kids? Take that dream captive, keep that dream alive, and work on it. It may take awhile, but if it is from God it will be done in and through you.
I have been privileged to sit at lunch with several people from Compassion and hear your dreams, and I treasure that. I know that when you are sharing with me what you are dreaming or where God is leading you that you are sharing the divine imprint that God has built into your spiritual D.N.A. and I consider it an honor.
Closing
Remember to take time to Praise God for what He has given you.
When Mary found out she was pregnant, and she was to raise Jesus she praised him.
“ Luke 1:46 And Mary146 said,147“My soul exalts148 the Lord,149 1:47 and my spirit has begun to rejoice150 in God my Savior, 1:48 because he has looked upon the humble state of his servant.151For152 from now on153 all generations will call me blessed,1541:49 because he who is mighty155 has done great things for me, and holy is his name; 1:50 from156 generation to generation he is merciful157 to those who fear158 him.1:51 He has demonstrated power159 with his arm; he has scattered those whose pride wells up from the sheer arrogance160 of their hearts.1:52 He has brought down the mighty161 from their thrones, and has lifted up those of lowly position;1621:53 he has filled the hungry with good things,163 and has sent the rich away empty.1641:54 He has helped his servant Israel, remembering165 his mercy,1661:55 as he promised167 to our ancestors,168 to Abraham and to his descendants169 forever.”
Remember that your spirit is a Womb for God to work His divine love, His miraculous blessings, and His plan for your life in. It is just like a womb because it is a place of protection, of intimacy, nourishment and a place of rest. Remember to rest in the knowledge that God is giving you the courage, the vision and the path to take to fulfill your calling, in His timing.
